Drunk Shopping on Etsy: Golden State Warriors Edition
Photo via Golden State Warriors/Facebook
This week I went to a surreal cocktail party that involved Kenny G playing a private concert for a house full of people in the SoMa clock tower penthouse to promote his gin brand. How do you follow up the emotional high of Earl Grey martinis and a live saxophone performance of My Heart Will Go On? With drunk-shopping on Etsy for Warriors swag, naturally.
I've purchased some of my favorite things on Etsy. I've also bought some really questionable items. But a common theme in Etsy shopping is that drinking makes anything you're considering more appealing. In honor of Game 4 Game 5, let's discuss seven finds you're gonna want by the fourth quarter of tonight's game. (Click on any photo to shop!)
Enamel pins are all the rage—think of them as the modern-day answer to the 80s button—and this Steph Curry pin duo ($10) is pretty darn cute. The vendor gets bonus points for having a sense of humor, explaining, "Stephen Curry is an NBA Champion, 2x NBA MVP...and eventually every 3 point record that will ever be. And now the inspiration for an enamel pin (Probably his most prestigious accolade, I'm sure)." I see no reason why you can't wear both at the same time.
Nothing says "Warriors super fan" quite like a replica championship ring. This one on Etsy is emblazoned with Steph Curry's name and number, and it's only $19.99. The seller's past customers seem absolutely delighted with their purchases. Kenny, a dude who bought a 2016/Lebron James version, writes, "IT'S BEAUTIFUL! FITS PERFECT! Honestly, I'm SHOCKED! It's my first purchase of a ring like this...I've always wanted one."
Same, Kenny. Same.
You know that saying, "One man's trash is another man's treasure?" That's literally the case when it comes to Warriors beer cap earrings. Crafted from actual Anchor Brewing bottle caps, these are a steal at only $8.50. Based on the number of bottle cap and beer can earrings this seller is making, I think she's found a brilliant way to write off her beer habit. (Now you probably feel foolish for tossing your bottle caps in recycling,)
Think Warriors mania is just for human fans? Not so fast. Your pup can show his team spirit at the office with this handsome Warriors dog tie. It only costs $5, plus however much self-respect you lose in the process of putting a neck tie on your dog.
A number of Etsy shoppers have commented that it's a great-looking, high-quality tie. I don't know if that's in the broader realm of neckwear, or if it pertains specifically to dog tie comparisons. Either way, it's hard to beat the price.
You can't build a head-to-toe Warriors ensemble without shoes. This hand-painted option combines the comfort of Vans with a side of home team obsession. Walnut Creek-based ArtbyAmmo can paint pretty much anything, so don't be shy about ordering your Steph Curry/Kevin Durant bromance kicks.
The downside: this $80 pair appears to be copycat Vans, but the seller will hook you up with the real deal for an additional $60. (Pro-tip: she also paints Toms.)
While we're on the topic of 'shipping, you can score this hand-painted Steph Curry/Klay Thompson Splash Brothers hat for only $30.
According to the Yahoo!, Warriors.com writer Brian Witt came up with hashtag during the Warriors' December 2012 victory over the Charlotte Bobcats. He was playing off the Oakland Athletics' nickname "Bash Brothers" for Mark McGwire and Jose Canseco. Regardless, I can see this being a popular choice for Pride Month. Love is love, y'all.
For when you don't want to choose between team spirit and a date night crop-top-and-skirt combo. This $67 Warriors playset comes in three different color/player combos. Choose from Steph Curry, Draymond Green, or Klay Thompson, or just buy all three. Coordinating foam finger sold separately.
As we all know from her courtside Kevin Durant-taunting and Lebron-cheering last week, Rihanna is no friend to the Warriors, but I could actually see her making this look good. Moral of the story: channel your inner Riri and wear whatever you want, including Warriors separates. Also, Rihanna, leave Kevin Durant alone.
There are more than 1500 Golden State Warriors items on Etsy, so I promise there's plenty more for you to choose from. Grab a beer. Pour a glass of wine. Get whatever you need to calm your nerves while you watch the Dubs trounce the Cavaliers. And during tonight's many, many commercial breaks? Start shopping for your Championship Parade look on Etsy.